See, back in January i started feeling cooped up, cabin fevered, just in general not very happy. And I told my friend Alex this. What he said kind of took me for a loop and I think I needed to hear it and reflect on it more than I did when he said it.
What he said is that he found it odd I wanted to go out cause I was always such an independent person.
I didn't think about it much then but I think I should've.
I love being me, and there's nothing wrong with being me. I think I got a little wrapped up in college life and wanting to be that guy everyone loves that I was almost scared to make some enemies.
But I think what he was saying was more of, I should just chill and be myself no matter what, cause the people I want in my life will be attracted to that, and the people I don't want will be avoided. Instead of having a toxic social circle I'd have a genuine one.
I like going out with friends and all but I like being by myself, able to reflect and think and do recalibrate and decompress. I think its important to be able to take some "me time." See who you truly are. I think I just got caught up in trying to see what others see in me instead of what I see in me.
I feel shiny again.
I spent some time looking at my camera and found out all these things it can do! I was lamenting earlier today that I wish I had a big camera like the ones I use at school (mostly because they can white balance, manual focus, variable zoom) but then I looked through the functions of my camera and noticed I can do all that and SO MUCH MORE!
I just need a mic.
BUT I have a mic adapter (that I accidentally stole from my school)! See, I put it in my pocket cause it was getting in the way of the shoot and said I'd put it back later, but forgot XD
ANYWAYS!
I noticed something today. Its SO much easier to talk to a someone you're not attracted to (anymore) than it is to talk to someone you are attracted to!
This is good cause I can work relationships from 2 angles. Girls I've become friends with might open their eyes and see I'm a great guy and want to go out with me and instigate something.
I've also recently decided to start dating randoms instead of trying to get to know them first. Take a chance and put myself out there.
It'll mean an increase in failed relationships, but it'll also mean an increase in relationships in general.
I need to find a singles bar









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"Talent is like the shooter that hits a target the others can't reach; genius is like the shooter that hits a target the others can't see." -- Schopenhauer
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You think your hot shit in a champagne glass, but you're really cold diarrhea in a Dixie cup!
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:: There is nothing new under the sun. ::
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You think your hot shit in a champagne glass, but you're really cold diarrhea in a Dixie cup!
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See enough horror and experience enough pain and you become separated from your self.
- ETY
An artist must create as often as possible. To cease this task is, to the soul of an artist, as ceasing to breathe.
- ETY
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You think your hot shit in a champagne glass, but you're really cold diarrhea in a Dixie cup!
Been a long time, just thought i'd drop a note and see if you're doing okay.
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Pimp or be Pimped
I wish I had more time off, I'd come to Toronto and demand we hang out, we'll have to settle for some time in the Summer (hopefully I'll be around, i might get a job and just work and live here for the summer)
How've you been! whats new with you!?
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You think your hot shit in a champagne glass, but you're really cold diarrhea in a Dixie cup!
How is school treating you? I imagine your program must be very demanding too. Do you get to come down to T.O often? You must really be liking living in Ottawa if you want to stay there in the summer
You know, I've really been missing when we were in AFD. Such great times. Sure the work load was a lot, but no matter how much we stressed to get things done the subject matter was just always enjoyable. And the people there were so cool. Going to class was always fun
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Pimp or be Pimped
yeah schools pretty intense here, from time to time. There the occasional lull in activity where nothing happens but lately its been rush rush rush to get things done on time.
I don't get a chance to go to T.O. that often. Usually only weekends too. This sem I don't have as much money to spend on traveling to and from so I'll be visiting less frequently. Its not that I like Ottawa, I just like aspects of what I'm doing here. I like living on my own (no need to worry about being out late) I like making my own food (no need to worry about bad food for supper) I like the location of my home (right next to the school, groccery store, a few fast food joints, Tim Hortons, and an LCBO and Beer Store!) but I don't really like much of Ottawa.
Things are good. I can't really complain. School is going well, get to go out with friends from time to time. But its not without its share of lows, like all things. I havn't been drawing much lately (but probably will soon).
I miss AFD sometimes too. I was telling my friend how going to school for AFD wasn't really like going to school. It was more of a fun time. No mid terms, or final exams, no reading, writing, math. Just drawing and doing what you do best. I really enjoyed it.
Ah, Second Cup at York! We need to go back just once for old times sake!
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You think your hot shit in a champagne glass, but you're really cold diarrhea in a Dixie cup!
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