I've been feeling good these past few days. I've had the occasional sad bout where I was lonely and daydreamed of relationships, but lately I've been feeling super psyched about all sorts of things!

See, back in January i started feeling cooped up, cabin fevered, just in general not very happy. And I told my friend Alex this. What he said kind of took me for a loop and I think I needed to hear it and reflect on it more than I did when he said it.

What he said is that he found it odd I wanted to go out cause I was always such an independent person.

I didn't think about it much then but I think I should've.

I love being me, and there's nothing wrong with being me. I think I got a little wrapped up in college life and wanting to be that guy everyone loves that I was almost scared to make some enemies.

But I think what he was saying was more of, I should just chill and be myself no matter what, cause the people I want in my life will be attracted to that, and the people I don't want will be avoided. Instead of having a toxic social circle I'd have a genuine one.

I like going out with friends and all but I like being by myself, able to reflect and think and do recalibrate and decompress. I think its important to be able to take some "me time." See who you truly are. I think I just got caught up in trying to see what others see in me instead of what I see in me.

I feel shiny again.

I spent some time looking at my camera and found out all these things it can do! I was lamenting earlier today that I wish I had a big camera like the ones I use at school (mostly because they can white balance, manual focus, variable zoom) but then I looked through the functions of my camera and noticed I can do all that and SO MUCH MORE!

I just need a mic.

BUT I have a mic adapter (that I accidentally stole from my school)! See, I put it in my pocket cause it was getting in the way of the shoot and said I'd put it back later, but forgot XD

ANYWAYS!

I noticed something today. Its SO much easier to talk to a someone you're not attracted to (anymore) than it is to talk to someone you are attracted to!

This is good cause I can work relationships from 2 angles. Girls I've become friends with might open their eyes and see I'm a great guy and want to go out with me and instigate something.
I've also recently decided to start dating randoms instead of trying to get to know them first. Take a chance and put myself out there.

It'll mean an increase in failed relationships, but it'll also mean an increase in relationships in general.

I need to find a singles bar